Cake Or Death?

Not In My Name

2008-11-14T00:27:00.003-05:00

Letters containing a suspicious white powder were sent Thursday to Mormon temples in Los Angeles and Salt Lake City that were the sites of protests against the church's support of California's gay marriage ban.

While I can't possibly imagine these protesters being so far gone in their stupidity to threaten peoples' lives by actually sending anthrax to these churches, the intimidation and scare tactics so obviously implied in this act soar well beyond the pale.

This idiocy should shame anyone and everyone, past and present, who has ever fought for social equality.

Elton's Gonna' Have To Turn In His Card

2008-11-13T17:05:00.005-05:00

Elton John, who famously portrayed the Don of the Gay Mafia on Will & Grace, may be getting his knees capped. At the very least, the gay establishment will most assuredly ask him to turn in his homo-membership club card and forego any future "Dildo of the Month" benefits.

"I don't want to be married. I'm very happy with a civil partnership. If gay people want to get married, or get together, they should have a civil partnership," John says. "The word 'marriage,' I think, puts a lot of people off.

Tsk, tsk, John. Don't you know that equal rights are only equal if they semantical terminology that accompanies them are the same as well? It's impossible to be happy unless you're "married".

Just ask Britney.

ETA: Okay. So, I first came across this little blurb over on Joe.My.God's site (I just felt dirty admitting that). I thought it was it interesting that he had posted it, so I went back (still feel dirty) just to see what his readers felt about one of their own going against the grain. Seems as though the most parroted line in the comments is that "separate but equal is not equal."

It's funny that this is the same crowd that wholly endorse things like hate crimes legislations and special schools for LGBT kids, etc. How is it that we are to expect equality across the board from our government when our "leadership" so willingly and easily segregates the community on their own?

Faux Outrage, Take #37,551

2008-11-12T16:19:00.000-05:00

The Left is once again all in a tizzy over Michigan resident Shirley Nagel not handing out treats to kids (and their parents) who support Obama. Now granted, the woman is acting like an overzealous nutjob. A.) These kids can't vote, and B.) their parents have made up their mind already anyway. Denying them candy certainly isn't going to help get McCain elected.

Regardless, this story is the latest example of how crazed and delusional the right wing has become.

What's worse though? A random douchebag refusing to hand out candy to The Messiah's apostles or a talk radio host calling for the death of Joe the Plumber? (Audio at the link.)

You can guess which story is being covered more.

Keep in mind that Don Imus was fired for his "nappy" comment last year. What are the odds that this "Karel" guy, who's openly gay, faces any repercussions for his words? Also keep in mind that, were the roles reversed and Joe called for the death of a gay guy, that's hate speech.

But this fag doesn't hate Joe the Plumber. He just wants him dead.

UPDATE: Well color me shocked. Looks like Karel was fired! Of course, he apologized for the statements that were caught on tape, right? Well... not so much.

"Weekends are cheap and they were using a cheap engineer for my show," he said. "My show shouldn't have had an inexperienced engineer for my show, which is done remotely, and in which the host doesn't have an on/off switch on his mic. They put an inexperienced driver in the seat and the show crashed."

Right. The fact that the vehicle he was driving was running on a tank of fumes that had just ignited I'm sure had nothing to do with it.

... Accountability, where arts thou?

Chilling Stuff

2008-11-10T16:00:00.002-05:00

I've never been one to feel the need to exercise my right to bear arms, but after seeing this man get arrested for wearing a McCain/Palin shirt at an Obama victory rally in Philadelphia after the election... Well, it gives me pause.

This was posted by Ace yesterday (hey, no need in changing my MO of "day late, dollar short" now) but his commenters make some good points. It's a YouTube video, so we really have no way of knowing if something more serious actually prompted the arrest. And also judging from the (we'll call it) zeal of the surrounding crowd, the officers involved were more likely just trying to avoid almost assured violence had the guy stuck around and opted for the easy (albeit less constitutional) route of just getting him the hell out of the situation.

The Obama Aftermath

2008-11-05T23:11:00.002-05:00

Pretty shocking report from The Onion.

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

If California Won't Do It...

2008-11-05T18:36:00.004-05:00

Proposition 8, the Californian ban on gay marriage, passed last night 52% to 48%.

A slim margin, no doubt. But in a state where the Dems came out en masse for Obama (67% versus McCain's 33%), one has to wonder just how "embracing" those in the Democratic party really are when it comes to gay issues. If ever there was an argument to be made that the left has no right in claiming gays for their own (and vice versa), last night was it.

But what's even more disturbing is looking at the exit polling to see who actually voted for the ban.

A pretty overwhelming percentage of other minority groups voted in favor of banning gay marriage. Gay rights activists need to take a long and serious look at our community's standing in relation to the rest of the population.

If any amount of long-term, permanent advancement of gay rights is to be achieved, we need to spend more time changing minds instead of hunting down lawyers and camping out in front of court houses with home made signs.

If one of the most liberal states in the union doesn't see it....

A Letter To The President Elect

2008-11-05T17:29:00.002-05:00

Senator Obama,

First off all, congratulations. History was made yesterday when you were elected the first African-American president of the United States. Regardless of the ethics of "how", you ran a brilliant campaign. Politics is a game - more often than not, a downright dirty one - but one that must be played nonetheless.

That having been said, I did not vote for you. You are my president and as such, I hope you govern this nation wisely and prudently over the next four years. I hope you are able to repair the political rift in this country. I hope that you keep me, my family, and my friends safe. I hope that in 2012, this nation is even better than it is today.

I felt John McCain, while obviously flawed, was the better choice. You have some work to do to gain my trust. A lot of work. The political climate in this country has been rancid over the past 8 years and I will do my level best to abstain from falling into the swarm of negativity and vitriol that has surrounded the Bush White House.

I am counting on the media to give you a constant pass during your tenure on Pennsylvania Avenue. I will not. Others will not. Not much is known of the specifics of your intended policies. We will all be watching.

I am giving you the benefit of the doubt. I have no choice but to hope that your rhetoric of "hope and change" was not as empty as I still feel it was. As a citizen of this country, I cannot and will not hope for a failed Obama presidency, as much as that would benefit my party. You have raised expectations to an extremely high level.

Do not let us down.

Do You Like Scary Movies?

2008-10-31T23:36:00.002-04:00

I stole this from Ace who stole it from HotAir, but it's not like posting one's favorite scary movies on Halloween is all that original of an idea. A lot of these are your typical staples for the genre, but hey... I just admitted to being entirely unoriginal.

The Exorcist - Decided to rent it and watch it alone at 3am when I was 17 or 18. No movie had scared me as much before, and no movie has since. The spider-walk down the steps gives me chills just thinking about it.

Jaws - One of those perfect instances of the musical score being able to totally enhance the desired response. We don't see the shark for the first 3/4 of the film and yet that's the scariest part.

The Blair Witch Project - I know, I know. 99% of the population thought it was retarded. It made me sleep with the lights on (I was house-sitting at the time). I think the effectiveness of this film depended on who and where you were watching it. One smart-ass kid in the theater could easily take you out of it. The audience I saw it with however was totally immersed. You see very little, if anything, and my imagination just got the best of me. Only good for one viewing, but it was worth it.

Pet Sematary - I won't go so far as to say the movie was actually better than the book, but it did it's job. Next to Damien, indian-graveyarded Gage is one of Hollywood's creepier kids.

Communion - Not really a well known film, but there's one scene in it that gives me chills. I've only ever seen it once, but it has stayed with me. What scarred me for life was the first 50 seconds below:

Be Gay Today

2008-10-29T23:03:00.001-04:00

This guy's got some pretty funny shit on YouTube. This video is actually what converted me to my current sexual status.

What can I say...? I love red kidney beans.

28 Years In The Making

2008-10-29T21:51:00.003-04:00

Phillies are World Champions!!

Go out there and party like it's 1980....

Brought To You By The Letter "E"

2008-10-29T20:36:00.004-04:00

Effigy and Equality. (You can almost sing that to the tune of Ebony and Ivory.)

I will disclose that this post is being written in a buzzed stupor while watching the remainder of of Game 5 of the World Series. My apologies ahead of time for any incoherence in the narrative.

Chad Michael Morrisette, the gay West Hollywood resident whose recent display of Sarah Palin in effigy has some in California and most in the rest of the country in an uproar, is on record saying it's "all in the spirit of Halloween". What a convenience that All Hallow's Eve is so close to Election Day. It must be one of those rare instances where the planets align, clouds part, and angels break forth in chorus to provide the perfect environment for inappropriate political commentary. (I mean, how often does October 31st fall so closely to the 1st Tuesday in November?)

What another convenience that Faggy-Three-Name (I will henceforth one up him by going by my four legally given names, "Charles Jason Kraft Tully") did not bother nailing The Messiah to a burning cross or hanging Biden by any of the numerous nooses he himself has manufactured ("Jobs" is a three-letter word, paying taxes is patriotic, etc...)... All in the "spirit" of the season of course.

My initial gripe is that this West Hollywood coward doesn't have the sack to admit his disdain for Palin is the motivating factor behind his holiday festivities. The fact that he also has McCain surrounded in flames really belies any questions that this is anything but politically motivated. The holiday is the thinnest of veiled excuses.

My main gripe though comes from the double standard that exists were I, as an Obama detractor, to do the same to the Democratic ticket. Thanks to the beauty of hate crime legislation, displaying a black man in effigy gets me arrested, Halloween or no.

Now, I could be wrong, but I highly doubt Miss-Tri-Name actually wishes death upon Palin, nor do I think s/he would actually be a physical threat to her well being (he makes window art for Christ's sake). And I, on the same token, do not wish death upon The One and actually find the recent plot to assassinate him to be downright sickening. Intentions aside, however, I'm still getting cuffed by the LAPD.

This is the double-edged sword of hate crime laws. In a well-intentioned, though poorly thought out, attempt to bring equality to the minority, they devalue the exact same behavior perpetrated on those not covered under the legislation. They are, in effect, the affirmative action of the legal domain.

The irony is that the supporters of these laws, instead of raising the bar of justice for all, diminish it to the lowest common denominator. Which, in these days, equates to whatever the "politically correct" Left defines that denominator to be....

.... In this case, hanging a vice-presidential candidate from your rooftop.

Palin In PA

2008-10-28T19:54:00.005-04:00

Governor Palin was stumping at Shippensburg University today. My sister just happens to go there, and her friend just happened to have an extra ticket to the rally. Below are some pics I had her take.

Poll Of Polls

2008-10-27T15:09:00.003-04:00

Rassmusen.... Gallup Daily Tracking.... USA Today....

All of these pale in comparison to the Free iPhone Election 08 Poll app.

Of course, those results were for when I downloaded the application on Saturday. The spread has widened as of today with The One at 53%, McCain at 43%.

Damn hippie iPhone users....

Honestly, I'm Flattered...

2008-10-22T18:19:00.002-04:00

... but who keeps voting for my penis?

Stern For President

2008-10-20T19:17:00.003-04:00

I've never been a huge fan of Howard Stern. Didn't necessarily dislike the guy, just never really found his stuff to be all that amusing. That said, after listening to the street interviews his staff did, I'm more inclined to feel that the self-proclaimed King of All Media is more on point than I previously gave him credit for.

Take a listen as Sal goes through Harlem attributing McCain's policies (and vice president) to Obama and asking who people would vote for.

Unbelievable. And frightening to think that there's a very real possibility that people this uninformed and oblivious may just put this guy in the White House.

Lefty Misdirection

2008-10-19T17:48:00.002-04:00

Do the Messiah's supporters and the media realize that no matter how much they pile on Joe the Plumber, how much dirt they are able to dig up on him, how often they can publicly tear him down...

... it won't change the fact that Obama admitted to wanting to enact a socialist program of wealth redistribution.

Joe's past tax history will not change that. His current financial status will not change that. His plumbing license or lack thereof will not change that.

You all can bitch, moan, and smear all you want. Your candidate wants to continue giving government handouts.

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

2008-10-17T22:05:00.001-04:00

Updated: I'm reversing my stance on this issue 100% in light of the fact that it has now reached the scale of physical assault. The media and Obama campaign had no problem producing faux outrage over the as-of-yet still unconfirmed "Kill him" comment at a McCain rally.... This story has gone unnoticed for over a month. McCain has repudiated those comments, to the point where he has almost come across as though he's only a few back in the cue waiting to fellate The One himself.

Obama's condemnation of his supporters assaulting women in 3........
Now that the economy is stable, eastern nations are no longer making overt power moves, and Britney is back (and naked), the political war for the White House has basically ignored these non-issues and has been reduced to "which side has the craziest fucktards."

My last post illustrated what some of the 'tards on the left feel is appropriate political discourse. The Media has basically latched on to how a McCain supporter brought a monkey labeled "Obama" to one of his rallies. On and on we go.

For all intents and purposes, the election now seems to hinge on what really is nothing more than a contest of "Your Momma" jokes. What's disheartening is that the "heavy-hitter" blogs have become so obsessed with this. (Michelle Malkin and the Huffington Post, e.g.) Many people, regardless of political ideology, turn to sites like these as a way to filter through whatever bias they feel the media imposes on either candidate.

This is an important election, and here we're talking stuffed animals, t-shirts, and bumper stickers. (Yes, I'm guilty of this too, but thankfully, I only have 8 readers.) In fact, I started writing this post to add fuel to the flames by pointing to the "Sarah Palin is a c***" t-shirts that were on display in Philly recently. What I found was that some of the photographs that were linked on Flickr were taken down by the poster.

Now, while I'm sure he and I could not disagree more politically, and while I'm not sure his reasoning for doing so (can't see how the phrase on the shirt could be taken "out of context") is necessarily sound, I have to give him props...

On Saturday, Republican vice-presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin came to Philadelphia. ACT-UP/Philly, among many other groups, called for an organized protest. I showed up and took some pictures. I even made a video of the protest of which I'm quite proud.

In wanting to represent the breadth of the protest, however, I took some pictures of people wearing shirts that attacked Sarah Palin using language demeaning to women.

You can see an image of these shirts here, but be aware the language used could be triggering.

I then uploaded these images to Flickr, without comment. Apparently my images were noticed quite quickly, because they started getting blogged about and the comments on this image in particular were quite extensive (the image is no longer on that page, but I left it up for the sake of recording the comments).

I made a mistake in propagating this language.

Here's hoping both sides of this battle can grow up over the next 21 days.

A Tad Confused

2008-10-16T23:38:00.002-04:00

Just so I'm understanding this properly....

Asking questions about a presidential candidate's relationship with a domestic terrorist who is on record saying he "wished he bombed more" is a no-no and something the media will avoid at all costs, but...

... Delving into the life of a private citizen who was approached by said presidential candidate (and subsequently taken to task on certain tax policies by said citizen) to uncover God knows what is somehow relevant to this election process and is a story that deserves the keenest of eyes so that we, as Americans, can make the most informed decision on November 4th.

Am I missing something?

A Case For Road Rage

2008-10-01T22:01:00.006-04:00

Charming.

Leave it to the "compassionate" left to express themselves so adroitly. It's even got cute little curly text. Abortion has never been so adorable!!

Ya' gotta' wonder.... The main tenet of the abortion issue is "when does life begin?" and therefore, whether or not it can be argued as essentially ending a life. In the case of Sarah Palin, she is very much alive. Aborting her now would be a pretty slam-dunk case for 1st degree murder.

Bob Ross Goes Political

2008-10-01T18:12:00.003-04:00

Chicago resident and artiste, Bruce Elliott, decided to use his powers for... something political... by painting a 4-foot tall portrait of Sarah Palin. Standing on a polar bear skin. Holding an automatic rifle.

....Naked.

The picture of Palin, in which he used his supposedly look-alike daughter as a stand-in, is hanging in the Old Town Ale House on Chicago's North Side.

"I don't see how she could be offended by this," Elliott told the Windy Citizen. "I made her into a sex figure."

Elliott's obvious over-confidence in his artistic ability aside (it looks like first grade paint-by-number), I just can't seem to buy into the fact that a self-proclaimed Obama supporter would set out to turn a political candidate in which he "despises everything she stands for" into a sex figure. One would think that, if the goal was truly to convey a sense of adoration or idolatry, Mr. Elliott would've gone out scouring Chicago for a shrieking harpy to use as a stand-in for Michelle Obama.

Nevertheless, as even the most average artists are inclined to do, he inspired me to do some of my own work. Not having the means to import my original artwork of Joe Biden, I searched the internet to find a site that would provide an acceptable substitute of comparable quality.

Here Ya' Go, Barack

2008-09-26T22:55:00.005-04:00

.... Just apply wherever it hurts most.

Internet Equivalent of Rearranging My Room

2008-09-26T17:55:00.003-04:00

You know you're a fickle, albeit unoriginal, sonofabitch when you go to type a post title and it automatically fills in. Apparently, I've used "New Look" at least once before.

For my faithful reader (Hi, Chris!), this is nothing new. I switched up the title out of shame, but as you can see, yes... things look a tad different.

As usual, I will be tweaking here and there. Once I finally settle on the final look, I'll more than likely drop off the face of the earth again, only to return 8.3 months later to sporadically post enough to realize that I am not happy with the current scenery and repeat the process all over again.

.... Only then I'll call it Mental Equivalent of Restless Leg Syndrome.

On Hobbies and Prejudices

2008-09-25T18:38:00.004-04:00

Florida Democratic Representative Alcee Hastings, one of only 6 federal judges to ever be impeached in the history of our nation (for perjury and obstruction of justice), decided to impart some of his insightful wisdom about Sarah Palin at the National Jewish Democratic Council yesterday.

... anybody toting guns and stripping moose don’t care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks.

Awww.... snap!

Truth to power, that is. I mean, let's be honest. Every last person with a gun license only has that license because they fear the black man. And those moose strippers? They only do that because stripping the Jews became such a big no-no back in the late 30s, early 40s.

I mean, Hitler was a vegetarian who liked to paint. That's why people think the Holocaust never happened. No broccoli-eating Bob Ross wannabe could possibly coordinate the mass extermination of an entire race of people. It's just not in their nature.

Gun-toting, moose strippers though.... They are out to oppress and just can't seem to bleach the animal blood out of their long, white robes fast enough.

So many inner-city synagogues. So few burning crosses....

Ouch, CNN!

2008-09-24T23:53:00.003-04:00

Not sure what's hurting more right now. The Obama/Biden camp? Or my strongly held belief of the media being staunchly left-wing.

This here is, by far, the last article I would've expected to read on CNN. Not only does it point out that both Biden and Obama voted against killing the Bridge to Nowhere... twice!!... it lays a heavy hand across Joey's penchant for earmarking expensively pointless projects in the state of Delaware to the tune of $342 million for this year alone.

Among his requests: $1 million for renovation of an opera house in Wilmington, another million for the construction of a children's museum and thousands of dollars for a water park renovation in Lewes.

I was just in Wilmington last week, and trust me.... the few people in that town who even know what opera is probably aren't pitching that big of a fit because the chandelier is missing a bulb and the paint in the box seats is starting peel.

From The Book Of Redundant Redundancy

2008-09-23T23:03:00.003-04:00

Clay Aiken is gay.

David Blaine is a douche.

Ahmadinejad is just plain fuckin' nuts.

Don't Let The 'Prompter Go Out On Me

2008-09-21T14:36:00.002-04:00

In case you've yet to see the stark contrast between Barack With a Teleprompter vs. Barack Without a Teleprompter...

... The magic is gone.

Sullivan On Palin On Gays

2008-09-15T16:07:00.003-04:00

The Queen of Righteous Indignation struck again today. In response to Palin's interview with Charlie Gibson, (s)he referenced Sarah's quote that:

... I'm not going to judge someone on whether they believe that homosexuality is a choice or genetic. I'm not going to judge them.

Miss Thang is quick to point out (emphasis mine):

Palin does judge homosexuals in as extreme a fashion as you can imagine.

This extreme fashion (s)he is referring to is that the church Palin belonged to in Wasilla was one in which they "pray the gay away". Now, let me be clear. I find praying to cure gays of their sexuality to be downright hilarious. It's right up there with basically anything that comes out of the Church of Scientology.

That said, I can't help but be a tad appalled and filled with gob-smacking heart-ache by Sullivan's complete lack of imagination. Is praying for a gay guy to hop the fence really more extreme than this?

Palin's Most Shining Endorsement

2008-09-12T15:37:00.005-04:00

There ya' have it folks. The renowned political mind of Pamela Anderson has spoken....

In all honesty though, I wouldn't be half surprised if the "She can suck it" mantra were to show up in the veep debate. You know Biden's thinking it.

7th Anniversary

2008-09-11T00:01:00.000-04:00

This is the first year since I had moved up the New York that I won't be in the city for the anniversary of 9/11. It's a little surreal not being there, going to work like it's just another day. I guess that's just one more casualty of the attacks - knowing that, no matter how hard any of us try, regardless of the year that follows it, September the 11th will never be "just another day"....

To the city I still deep down call home, my thoughts are with you today.

To the 2,975 men and women... fathers and mothers... sons and daughters... brothers and sisters... who lost their lives that day, you are not forgotten.

And to those who live with the burden of that day on a daily basis - the survivors, the loved ones left behind, the first responders - you will never walk alone.

WWPD?

2008-09-09T22:21:00.005-04:00

This morning, I walked into my bathroom to discover an unpleasant, annoying, albeit a rather common scene. I had to ask myself...

... What would Palin do?

* Please do not ask where the magazine came from. Getting roommates off of Craigslist opens the door to the craziest of crazies.

I Got An Email From Joe Biden!!

2008-09-05T18:47:00.006-04:00

I am officially now a part of the Washington "in" crowd. Yeah, that's right. Joe Biden and I are chums....

Apparently, when one goes to check out Obama's website to see if one can actually determine where The One stands on any one particular issue, one must enter one's email to access the site.

So, wanting to be the most informed voter I can, I did just that. 24 hours later... (my thoughts are in bold.)

Friend -- (Awww.... warm fuzzies.)

John McCain just accepted the Republican nomination and adopted the most conservative platform in the history of his party. (James Lipton voice: Conservatives... behaving... conservatively. ... Brilliant.)

After days of negative attacks (I know, right? Your pals over at Obama HQ/MSNBC really laid into Palin and her family. Brutal stuff. But hey... this is how the game is played.) -- and no mention of real proposals to fix our economy, get more people health care, or make America safer (Now, now. Don't bite the hand that veep's you. Obama's speech, while typically vague and unfocused, was pretty darn good.) -- the party that brought you eight years of disastrous policies is asking for four more. (OH! .... You were talking about the RNC? My bad....)

Well, not if we have anything to say about it. (And from what I've heard, you don't.)

Across this nation, people like you have joined this movement because you believe that we are better than the past eight years. (Actually, I "joined" this "movement" because I've been trying to figure out what your buddy is going to do about... anything.) And now that we are entering the final stretch, it's going to take all of us to bring the change we need. (Can't argue with ya' there, Joey. This election is the Dems' to loose, and have you seen the poll numbers??)

Step up at this crucial moment and make a donation of $5 or more to change our country. (Uhhh, no. Just bought a couple McCain/Palin bumper stickers, so I'm tapped out.)

After the last eight years, it's up to you to keep America's promise alive. (Unlike third tri-mester babies.... Those are never promising. And I wasn't aware the promise was dead. In need of some anti-biotics, maybe. But you're talking like it's on life-support.)

How can John McCain pull us out of the deep hole we're in when he voted with George Bush more than 90% of the time?

The American people deserve more than a 10% chance at change. (It's only been a week and you guys have thoroughly bludgeoned this percentage sound-bite to death. I'm ready for a change please.)

No matter what McCain says, we can't bring about change by relying on the same ideas that have failed us for the last eight years. (Odd, considering that if you look at the speeches your boss and McCain gave, they bear some striking similarities. Some passages almost word for word.)

Show the McCain campaign that people coming together, giving what they can afford, and working toward a common purpose will transform this country. (I'd love to join in that gathering, but I believe I'll be outside checking the pressure on my tires while simultaneously stemming the rising waters and wrapping the world in gauze so as to heal the earth.)

Change begins with you. Please make a donation of $5 or more now: (See above bumper stickers.)

https://donate.barackobama.com/changeweneed

Thanks for everything you're doing, (You're welcome.)

Joe (Why didn't the Big O send this? Is he out getting gauze too?)

I've Hopped The Fence

2008-09-04T00:35:00.005-04:00

Palin delivered an out-of-the-park grand mother fuckin' slam tonight.

Sarah, I love you. I have no other love but you.

David Wright is nothing to me. (... okay, that actually hurt to type.)

I'm puttin' the bumper sticker on tomorrow morning. First time since Dole/Kemp.

Thank you for making me excited about November.

Joe Biden Date-Raped Helen Mirren While Eldest Son Flipped Through Playboy And Played With His Wii

2008-09-01T23:33:00.002-04:00

And in other news, a hurricane made landfall somewhere today.

Open Letter To The Lovely Ms. Kern

2008-03-16T15:29:00.002-04:00

Dear Sally,

I'm sure you're pretty busy lately as word continues to spread about some remarks you made concerning homosexuality "being a bigger threat than terrorism," but on the off chance you have a moment, there is one fairly large and glaring discrepancy that, being a homosexual myself, I'd like to clear up. Pull up a seat, and get comfy, because this is obviously going to come as a shock to you.

...

We don't actively kill people.

I'm not sure what news your getting out there in Oklahoma, but I've yet to see groups of gays banding together and beheading people. Maybe I just need to pay more attention. Maybe my local news is under gay-control and won't run with those types of stories for fear of being tortured with Streisand CDs. ... Or maybe it's just not happening.

It's a tad distressing to see an elected official unable to make this distinction of what constitutes a threat. Perhaps if you spent less time trying to ban books from libraries, you'd realize that there truly is real evil in this world. It's the same evil that brought us 9/11. The same evil that visited Madrid and London. The same evil that our troops are constantly fighting over in the Middle East.

You've apparently been receiving some death threats in response to your remarks. And while I do not condone them, I can see where they come from. I'm not one that has ever actively defended the gay community. I find much of what they do to be ridiculous and counter-productive. However, when we are compared to those who torture and murder for a god and are decided to be worse than those people.... I must stand with my fellow gays.

You justify your remarks in that it's not the actual gay people, it's their sin that you despise. I will counter that by saying it is not you, but this pervasive attitude of fear towards homosexuals that I despise. It is an attitude that is rooted in religion and ignorance. I do not see you changing either of those.

I look forward to the day those attitudes are no longer a part of this world.

More Swift Kids

2008-03-10T17:40:00.003-04:00

Sorry, folks. It's all I really have time for lately.

It Pains Me....

2008-02-04T00:17:00.001-05:00

.... But congrats, (and yes... thank you) to the New York Giants.

While you did not break Tom Brady's legs, you did force Bill Belichick to show his true colors by running off to the locker room before the game was over.

The Gayelles Are Coming

2008-01-25T16:37:00.000-05:00

Good Lord.

A Group of lesbians who are unhappy with the title have launched a world-wide movement to change the name of their sexuality to “gayelle”. Websites devoted to the change are springing up, with the motivation said to be a “persistent distaste for the word lesbian.”

A persistent distaste for the word "lesbian"? Is that what the homosexual community is now focusing on? What words we find distasteful? I know, I know. I shouldn't be shocked.

C'mon, folks. If you are the type of person to be so easily offended by a word, then my guess is that your issues run a tad deeper than Webster's Dictionary.

The word lesbian is antiquated; it is not representative of modern times,
and or, of persons with modern views. Lesbian does not sound cheerful and fun,
nor does it mean merry, like the word gay does....

It. Is. A. WORD! Sweet baby Jesus in a manger. Stop letting combinations of the alphabet define your happiness in this world. Be proud of who you are because you are you. Not because one aspect of your being is described by a word that a few deem "antiquated" or "not fun". Go out and make your sweet, female homosexual love, get on with your damn life, and stop choosing these ridiculously stupid battles!

Besides. Does this....

... really conjure up images of a "gayelle"?

... And These People Can Vote?

2008-01-15T01:32:00.000-05:00

The town clerk of Sutton, New Hampshire incurred the wrath of Ron Paul supporters following last week's primary election. Jennifer Call tells the Concord Monitor she somehow ended up recording that Paul received no votes in her town out of the 920 cast. But by the next morning the mistake had been fixed, and Paul received credit for 31 votes.

Call says over the next few hours she received about 40 calls from Paul supporters. Some falsely claimed they were media looking into a story about voter fraud. Others yelled she had committed treason. One said she should be shot. She also received enough calls at home that she locked her doors, unhooked her answering machine and requested an unlisted number.

Of her experience with Paul supporters, Call says — "most of these people are not rational."

I wonder how a presidential candidate whose supporters issue death threats can carry on? Paul has already tried to dodge the whole 9/11 thing which actually garnered his initial support. He has repeatedly stated he does not endorse those theories... but ever so gently. He can't help what his supporters think. It's not what he thinks. But they are entitled to think whatever they want.

Of course the 'tards chalk his renouncement of them up to "he's just saying that 'cause he has to". And thank God for that. Because the second they start taking him at his word is the second they abandon his cause. And that's the second Paul turns into a nobody and the second the news gets a little more boring.

Wonder how they'll take it if he comes out saying, "Please don't threaten to kill people."

I ::Heart:: Bill Clinton

2008-01-07T19:54:00.000-05:00

Just so we're clear.

It took me a good 42 minutes to actually type that title. There were seizures involved. A fair amount of dry-heaving. And I had to punch myself in the face at least twice before it was all said and done.

That disclosed, here's the reason why.

God, I hate retards.

... I need to go shower now.

Swift Kids For Truth

2008-01-05T17:38:00.000-05:00

Honestly, some of the funniest shit I've seen in some time. Okay.... So maybe not the funniest, but certainly quite entertaining.

John Edwards:

Barack Obama:

Hillary Clinton:

More can be found here at 236.com.

Yappy Hew Near!!

2008-01-01T11:12:00.000-05:00

Bhutto Assassinated

2007-12-27T23:14:00.000-05:00

I'll admit, I did not know much (if any) of the story behind Benazir Bhutto. Just snippets here and there. But it's one of those stories that your heart sinks upon hearing. Here's to hoping the people of Pakistan will use this tragedy to affect positive change in their country and not let it slip even further into corruption and death.

And for anyone interested in what the Retarded 1/4th are saying about today's slaying, check it out. And please let me know what's going on there. I've been banned from that forum.

Runs In The Family

2007-12-19T14:15:00.000-05:00

This is pretty much as non-news as you can get, but I just found it funny that Britney's younger sis is preggers.

Even more amusing is her and her boyfriend's apparent disbelief.

"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," she said. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

Now I'm not sure where Louisana's sex-ed ranks on a scale of quality and comprehensiveness, but one would think that even Britney could have imparted the age-old wisdom of the birds and the bees along to her sister.

Guess she was too wrapped up in stealing lighters.

'Tis The Season To Be Meme'd

2007-12-18T17:36:00.000-05:00

As much as I despise these things, I think deep down in places I don't like to talk about at parties, I secretly love them. It's like having an excuse to release your inner narcissist. And it seems as though NDT is my inner-narcissist supplier, as he is constantly tagging me. (Should his husband be worried.....?)

Anyway, here we go.

1. Wrapping or gift bags?
Jesus. A humdinger right off the bat. I wanna say wrapping, 'cause on the receiving end, it's fun as hell to tear into stuff Christmas morning. On the giving end however, I just can't seem to master the fold-over on the ends - to the point where it gets all bunched up and puffy, like it was wrapped by a class of special kindergartners. So, I'll say gift bags. As a gay man, they're a hell of a lot easier to accessorize anyway.

2. Real or artificial tree?
This is all dependent upon your geographic location. If you live in an urban area devoid of any natural vegetation (say New York City) and don't feel like shelling out $150 to purchase a half-dead, rat-infested evergreen that must be lugged through a subway system crowded with dumb tourists and angry shoppers, then you go artificial. If you live in suburbia within 25 miles of mom and dad who grow Christmas trees and will cut one down for you free of charge, you go real.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Whenever mom cuts it down and the roomie's SUV is available for transport.

4. When do you take the tree down?
Whenever the other roomie starts bitching about having to sweep up dead pine needles three times a day.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Who doesn't? Only commies and Islamo-fascists don't like eggnog.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
World peace. It was broken though, so I had to exchange it for a Nintendo.

7. Do you have a Nativity scene?
Fresh out. I do live on the same block as a church though, so I'm sure they've got that covered.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
In the spirit of the holiday, I will say that I have never received a bad gift. It's the thought that counts, right? That said, were I to stoop to such an inconsiderate level, I'd go with that Christmas tree tie with Santas all over it that actually played Jingle Bells if you pressed the end of it.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards?
If I weren't so lazy, I'd go actual Christmas cards. Of course, I don't do the email ones either. I take the mentality that no-matter-how-many-I-send-out-I'd-still-forget-someone-and-would-therefore-lapse-into-a-state-of-suicidal-depression-so-it's-safer-just-to-not-bother.

10. Favorite Christmas movie?
Truly a tough question. It is a modern day classic and I'd like to say A Christmas Story, but my heart is going with National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. After all.... We're gonna' have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny Fuckin' Kaye!

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Usually it's on or around December 23rd. I work best under pressure.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Food. I'm not picky. Ham. Turkey. Pumpkin pie. I'll eat it.

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
I used to think colored lights were the way to go. But something happened over the past decade or so whereas the general population of this country became partially (maybe even totally) color blind. I have yet to see a tasteful display of multi-colored Christmas lights yet. I say clear.

14. Favorite Christmas song?
Traditional, I'll have to go with "Silent Night". "Sleigh Ride", performed by Mr. Harry Connick Jr. is a good one too.

And now, for the disclaimer:
1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share Christmas facts about yourself.
3. Tag random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
5. Send Chad some Christmas cash. (I except PayPal.)

Have fun Jeff, Kev, and Josh!!

Dear Patriots Fans

2007-12-15T20:40:00.000-05:00

You're douches.

USDA Grade A cock-sucking assholes.

I understand the rivalry between you and the Jets, but seriously. You're 13-0. Undefeated. There is a way to take pride in that fact with dignity instead of resorting childish games that make light of your team's underhanded cheating.

Trust me. I could think of more than my fair share of signs to jot down here, but I won't.

I will, however, be watching and praying for your downfall tomorrow.

New Look

2007-12-08T22:27:00.000-05:00

It can only mean one thing folks. I may just start fuckin' posting on a semi-quasi-relatively regular basis.

I'm shocked too.

.... My Dear Watson

2007-12-07T21:23:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, I was a tad disappointed in this evaluation. However, after giving it some thought, I take pride in the fact that I can parse such insightful and progressive thinking to such a young audience.

Get 'em while they're young.

And I mean that in a strictly anti-pedophilic way.

"Snuggles" Won't Get You Whipped

2007-11-27T18:21:00.000-05:00

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown said Tuesday that officials were working to secure the early release of a British teacher who faces being whipped in Sudan after she allowed her class to name a teddy bear "Mohammed."

Brilliant. I'm not quite sure which is more upsetting. The once-again over reaction of the religion of "peace" (Seriously.... Whipping a teacher?), or the fact that these children are unaware that you should only name a teddy bear "Mohammed" if there's a bomb strapped to it.

P.S. - Allah. If you're reading this.... Put the stones down my friend. .... It's just art.

You Know It's Bad....

2007-10-03T23:01:00.000-04:00

... when you resort to a MySpace bulletin for a blog post. Embarrassing really. Phillies make the play-offs... My Davey is out of a job until April... Britney looses custody of her kids... Hillary wants to give 5 grand to every baby born....

All this stuff going on in the world, and I'm turning to MySpace for blog material. That's apathy for ya'.

Anyway. It's not a completely useless post. It is political in nature and I felt it would be a good way to let my dwindling readership in on where I stand on some of the more prevalent issues out there. Enjoy.

1. If you had to choose between being a vegetarian for the rest of your life, or eating nothing but meat the rest of your life, what would you do?

- Steak baby. And burgers. And bacon. And a helping of pork with a side of angioplasty.

2. Do you believe in Global Warming?

- Don't think you can deny that it's been warmer lately. What's causing it is up for healthy debate though. That said, I'm all for doing our part to keep the environment as clean as we can.

3. Republican, Democrat, Independent, Anarchist, Terrorist. . . Which party do you believe in?

- Registered Republican. Probably more Libertarian though. And when did the Anarchists and Terrorists form parties?

4. Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?

- Such a tough one. I'm probably more on the side of pro-life, but there are some situations where I feel it has to be the woman's call (i.e. rape). My biggest problem with it is when it is used as a form of birth control. We all know what happens when he sticks his dingly-dang in her hoo-ha. Should be prepared to deal with the consequences.

5. Would you date/marry someone of a different race? Would you adopt a child of a different race?

- Yes and yes.

6. Yankees or Red Sox?

- Yankees.

7. Do you think same-sex unions should be legalized?

- I honestly don't care what it's called. I just want the same rights.

8. Stem Cell Research. . . Aye or Nay?

- This is where I can be argued as a hypocrite as I'm actually kind of in favor of this.

9. Will you spank your children?

- Only when they misbehave. Or when I'm in the mood.

10. Do you think the U.S. should make English its official language?

- Uh. Yes.

11. Do you consider yourself "religious?" --> Do you think people who don't belong to your religion are going to be punished for their disbelief?

- To some extent. I think all the major religions have gotten it wrong in one way or another. If there is a Creator, I doubt He put people on this earth for the express purpose of burning in Hell because they have a particular belief.

12. Do you think Homeless people "did it to themselves" or are "unfortunate?" --> Would you give a Homeless person money? --> Would you support euthanasia of the Homeless if it was brought up in Congress?

- I'm sure there's probably a healthy mix of both. I have given money to the homeless in the past, but more out of annoyance than sympathy. I wouldn't support killing them though.

13. If your family was starving, would you steal to provide for them? --> Would you steal for fun?

- Yes. No.

14. If someone murdered your loved one, would you murder them? --> Would you murder a complete stranger, if you knew you couldn't get caught?

- I'd like to think I would be better than to stoop to their level of evil. But if given the chance, I couldn't say for certain.

15. If your significant other hit you, would you stay with them? --> Do you think it's okay to hit your loved ones?

- No. No.

16. Have you ever cheated on someone? --> Do you think cheating is an inevitable response to animal biology, or a moral lack of character?

- No. I think it's a mixture of both even though I feel the "animal biology" thing is a bit of a cop-out.

17. War in Iraq. . . Aye or Nay? --> Would you feel differently if you had a loved one in the military?

- Aye. Although it's been handled more that poorly. My sister was in Afghanistan, so no... I don't feel differently.

18. Bush. . . Friend or Foe?

- Retard.

19. Hillary Clinton. . . Friend or Foe?

- Bull-dyke.

20. Barack Obama. . . Friend or Foe?

- Just plain 'ole nuts.

21. Do you think alternative means of childbirth/conception, (i.e. in vitro, surrogate mothers, test tube), are okay?

- Yes.

22. Should Britney Spears have her children taken away?

- Bitch already did. "Gimme more" indeed.

23. Do you support the U.S. Space Program? --> Do you believe in aliens?

- Absolutely. And I hope someone else is out there so Bush can challenge them for interstellar domination.

24. Do you think cloning is okay?

- I don't think we're ready for it's implications at this point, so.... no.

25. Do you think marijuana should be legalized? --> If marijuana were legalized, would you smoke? --> Would you stop being friends with someone due to smoking marijuana?

- No. No. Probably not.

26. Would you try any drug besides marijuana? --> Would you stop being friends with someone due to drug use?

- No. Depends.

27. Do you believe in Capital Punishment? --> Would your opinion change if you or a loved one were convicted of 1st degree murder?

- Yes. No.

28. Do you think the government was involved in the attacks on 9/11?

- Heh. YES I DO! THE TOWERS WERE RIGGED WITH EXPLOSIVES. HOLOGRAPHIC PLANES WERE USED. A MISSILE WAS FIRED AT THE PENTAGON. AND FLIGHT 93 NEVER EVEN EXISTED. /sarcasm No... People who buy into this shit are fucking stupid.

29. Do you think there should be international disarmament of nuclear weapons?

- In an idyllic world, yes.

30. Gun Control. . . Aye or Nay?

- To some extent. Bottom line is though, the people whom this type of legislation targets (violent criminals) are going to find a gun no matter what law is passed.

31. Do you think the American prison rehabilitation system works? --> Would you hire an ex-con?

- Is that what they are now? Rehabilitation systems? I thought it was supposed to be some type of punishment. Hmmm... my bad.

32. Does Paris deserve to go to jail? --> Do you drunk drive?

- Yes she does. I have in the past when I was young and stupid.

33. Plastic Surgery. . . Aye or Nay?

- I guess if it makes you feel better about yourself.

34. Do you think that those living below the poverty line are "lazy" or that it is a "social construct" which causes their situation?

- A bit of both again, with the "social construct" used too much as a crutch.

35. Nature or Nurture?

- Nature.

36. Do you think women's liberation is the cause of the "deterioration" of the American family?

- I think radical liberalism is the cause of the deterioration of the American family.

37. PETA. . . Aye or Nay?

- I love animals but hate PETA.

38. When you see an animal in the road, do you swerve or keep driving? --> Do you believe that animals have "souls"?

- I will try to avoid it. Souls I'm not so sure of. But feelings, you bet.

39. Would you burn down part of the rain forest to plant crops? --> What if it was your only source of food?

- If it was my only option for food, then yeah.

Unusual Suspect Indeed

2007-09-25T19:37:00.000-04:00

My now former Favorite Actor of All Time just kicked me square in the nuts today.

Thanks, Kev. 'Preciate it. No, no... seriously. It's not like I spent hours memorizing your American Beauty family dinner speech, even going so far as to throw countless plates of asparagus against the wall in a frustrated rage. Please, by all means. Go and mingle with El Diablo.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a new Favorite Actor of All Time.

... If only Casper Van Dien had a memorable monologue. ... Or a memorable film for that matter.

Don't Bomb Me Bitch!

2007-09-21T21:06:00.000-04:00

Seems like they're comin' out of the woodwork.

19 year-old MIT student Star Simpson (a porn name if ever there was one) walked into Logan International Airport with what appeared to be a bomb strapped to her chest. Her explanation of the stunt proves that while some may see devices used to murder hundreds of people at a time, others see only art:

She said that it was a piece of art and she wanted to stand out on career day.

And sure. I guess you could chalk this up to art.

It's pretty shitty art in my opinion. And just downright ridiculous. She maybe had a reason to be at the airport. Meeting her boyfriend possibly. But if you show up wearing that on your shirt, you better know damn well what the reaction is going to be. Just as I'd know what I was getting into if I went to the bank to deposit my paycheck wearing a ski-mask and a hoodie.

Bitch is lucky to be walking out of there with no bullet holes in her body.

I don't think she understood the seriousness until the public information employee called police.

The hell she didn't. She goes to M.I.T. She's not stupid. She knew damn well what she was doing. Like her Don't-Taze-Me-Bro kin earlier in the week, Star is just another shining example of how the younger generation act as though they are above reproach.

And when she enters a not guilty plea and is released on a mere $750 bail...

... can you blame them?

helphelpi'mbeingrepressed

2007-09-18T20:19:00.000-04:00

So we've all heard the story of Andrew Meyer, the fucking retard who got his ass tasered because he "asked too many questions."

Well, things are starting to look like this whole thing was planned. From his pre-filmed behavior of cutting in line, to his posturing at the mic after his time was up, to his refusal to calm down, all while his girlfriend is filming this? C'mon.

He wanted to cause a scene. He wanted to get taken into custody. He wanted to get the police on film using excessive force. He's even on film saying that the police were going to kill him.

Not suprisingly, Mr. Meyer is a Truther. Truther's are always on about the impending police state and how FEMA is setting up death camps for any government dissenters and blah blah blah.

The bitch of it is - and this is the part the retards can't seem to grasp - is that if you have to stage a police state scene, the odds are pretty damn good you're not actually living in one.

If Anyone Still Reads This Site....

2007-08-26T18:25:00.001-04:00

Funniest damn robbery video... EVER.

http://view.break.com/356543 - Watch more free videos

Thanks to Ace.

More Davey

2007-07-06T22:25:00.000-04:00

Davey Wright

o so prity in

blak 'n white

i nibble at ur drawstring'd sweaties

I've Been Tagged.... Twice

2007-07-06T21:42:00.000-04:00

Not as kinky as it sounds, unfortunately. Well... I guess it could be, depending on what exactly I choose to disclose. Ha! Who we kiddin' folks.... That would require I actually bump naughty bits at least once a year.

Anyway... this is basically like a blog chain-letter sans the promise of an eternity in hell should you not comply. NDT tagged me back in mid-June (I know... I need to start reading my own blog more often), and Kev tagged me a couple days later. The memes are basically the same - Little Known Facts About You. NDT required eight, Kevin needed seven so I have decided to combine them to give you....

15 THINGS ABOUT CHAD THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR WORLDVIEW.

1. There are more pictures of my dog in my apartment than there are of me.

2. There are WAY more pictures of my engaged roommates....

3. The only pictures of me that are on display include either my roommates, my dog, or most likely both.

4. I don't take good pictures.

5. I have actually tried practicing a "picture pose" in the mirror so I can be more prepared when the shutters start clicking.

6. Based on #'s 1-3, I have yet to discover that pose.

7. If a good picture of me is actually taken, you can rest assured that there's a 99% chance someone else is in the frame fucking it up.

8. I am no longer friends with those people.

9. With the exception of one.

10. She'd give me a black eye if I didn't clarify that.

11. And then I'd really be fucked.

12. At least as long as it would take for the black eye to heal.

13. But then seriously.... we're just back to Square One, and we've all learned how that's worked out thus far. (See #'s 1-3 for those in need of a refresher course.)

14. .... Where was I?

15. Oh yeah.... I hate cameras.

Technically speaking I'm supposed to "tag" 15 other people to open up some deep, dark part of their lives publicly on their blog, but.... I just got a haircut a couple days ago and have renewed hope that The Pose is still attainable.

I am off to the mirror.

Big, Fat, Ugly Lesbians: Take Two

2007-06-27T19:43:00.000-04:00

So that's Rosie O's kid, dressed as a "soldier". It's a still shot taken from this little montage The Big R posted on her site that is set to charming, yet slower version of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".

The problem I have with this, well.... For starters, sure... kids play GI Joe, "Cops and Robbers", and chase each other around the playground playing little war strategy games all the time. However, normally those games are played by boys. Not to stereotype, but girls are usually off playing four-square, making little paper fortune telling devices, or discussing Mary Kate's current eating disorder. They're usually not donning outfits with fake .50 caliber ammunition around their chests - even those being raised by big, fat, ugly lesbians.

Which leads me to believe that this was more O'FuckTard's idea than it was her daughter's. As a matter of fact, given O'FT's stance on terrorism (being that US Troops are the only real terrorists in the world), I'd bet my third nut this whole thing was to "make a statement".

Which means she's prostituting a child... her child... to further her warped political ideas. What's worse is that, as liberals are wont to do, she's attempting to shield herself from possible criticism through the cunning use of "it's just art".

The irony of this whole situation is that O'FT refuses to acknowledge that children her daughter's age are in fact dressing just like that, only with real weapons. The parents of these children are the terrorists O'FT just can't seem recognize as a legitimate threat.

Rosie is the poster-whale for why big, fat, ugly, lesbian, liberal retards should not be allowed to raise children.

.... In other O'FuckTard news, it is coming to light that the reason she did not get the Price Is Right gig is due to the fact that even the union labor for the studio was not willing to invest the time that would've been required to reinforce the stage with titanium cross-supports.

From an unnamed source, "Three new cars, a camper, a brand new hot-tub, and a round trip vacay to the Swiss Alps? The stage was built to handle that kind of stress. Big, fat, ugly, lesbians? ... Not so much."

63 Years Ago Today

2007-06-06T18:11:00.000-04:00

What The French, Toast?

2007-06-05T20:22:00.001-04:00

Case Closed!

2007-06-04T18:28:00.000-04:00

Well, turns out the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were brought down by nuclear weapons. So says an "anonymous physicist".

Spooked, one of the 'tards I blogged about back in the day, gives his review:

It is a must read.

Indeed.

Coming Clean

2007-05-29T20:31:00.000-04:00

I am a self-proclaimed Yankees fan. Says so right there to your right in that little Blogger bio thingy. I'm proud to be a Yankees fan. They are the first baseball team I ever followed with any sense of religious zealotry. They may be sucking endangered African Wild Dog dick right now, but they're still my team.

That said....

I'm in love with David Wright of the New York Mets.

I just can't help it. The motherfucker is just so damn hot.

And even though I railed on her in my previous post, Rosie O'Fucktard has shown me how to best express my love....

.... Through poem. (For those unaware, Rosie is quite the consummate poet. No seriously. Look past the fact that she writes like a 4-year old with obscenely fat fingers trying to send a text message on her daddy's Blackberry, her shit's on par with Angelou. I'm not kidding....)

As such, CoD will be introducing a new segment (provided I feel like it) in which I will post my favorite pics of David accompanied by a poem.

Enjoy.

Davey uR so

beaUTi

Full of hotnezz and joy

I am thuh mitt that catchez ur

fly ballz

Ro', Ro', Ro' Your Boat

2007-05-25T23:40:00.000-04:00

... Quickly on down to the unemployment line.

This is no doubt due to the now infamous split-screen bitch fest between Hasselbeck and O'Donnell. For those who haven't seen it, it's on YouTube, but the gist of the argument boiled down to Elizabeth calling Rosie out for not clarifying a statement she made regarding who the terrorists in Iraq really were, and Rosie whining about how it was taken out of context by the New World Order because she's a big lesbian mule.

Oh well.... At least now the Loose Change boys have a back-up narrator for their latest pile of shit if Charlies Sheen decides he'd rather go back to fucking and snorting whatever it is that Charlie Sheen likes to fuck and snort.

Of course, O'Donnell's involvement hinges upon Krispy Kreme and Tastykake going out of business simultaneously.

Let's See If I Remember How To Work This Thing....

2007-04-14T12:31:00.000-04:00

Ok, so the break was a little longer than I originally anticipated.

The move itself went well, aside from the couple snow squalls we had to drive through. The subsequent month and a half of unemployment, however, was not quite as entertaining. It plays havoc with ones psyche. You start getting depressed. You drink the previous tenant's (who also happens to be the landlord) stash of liquor. Sleep a lot. It's hard. After learning the recent criteria for "life-scarring", I'm confident in saying that the entire ordeal of being without a job has indeed scarred me for life.

But then I got a job. It's in sales. Something I've never done before, but given my borderline desperation, I was willing to try anything. Thankfully, it worked out. Or at least it was working out, up until I called one of my more endowed female co-workers a "big-tittied bitch". I immediately realized my misstep and began apologizing profusely, but to no avail. Despite the comment being made in private, it was still looked at as white-on-white hate-speech which degraded women, something the company would not tolerate, and I was fired.

Ironically, a similar situation happened to Don Imus. After watching that whole circus, I got an idea. I called up the boss who fired me, apologized again, and then asked if it would be possible for me to return to work in black-face. This would change the situation entirely. Instead of dealing with an inexcusable instance of degrading women, we could now look at it as just another Redman video.

He agreed, so I'm off to get some shoe-polish.

Long Time No Blog

2007-01-09T11:23:00.000-05:00

Couple weeks ago I alluded to the fact that a move was coming up and I promised to expound upon that, so... here it is.

I'm leaving New York. Heading back to Central PA. It's true what they say about the smell of cow shit.... Once you smell it, once it gets inside you, it's a part of you forever. Having grown up around the stuff, I find myself beholden to its power. Therefore, I must go.

Ok, now the real reason. Well... it pretty much comes down to why most people leave the city (money, rent, smells from New Jersey) with a couple personal reasons sprinkled into the mix. It is definitely a bitter-sweet move. I'm gonna' miss this town a ton.

But I'm only a 3-hour car ride away. That's right. CAR. A mode of personal transportation where I can comfortably sit and sing along with Britney if I so choose without having to reach into my pocket pretending to look for change for the smelly homeless-dude-who's-not-really-homeless-and-just-begs-on-the-subways-as-a-part-time-job guy. ... So I will be visiting.

But that's why there's been little to no posting. Busy looking for jobs, looking for apartments, looking for that CAR. And it will probably stay that way until after the move and things start to settle into the cow-patties and what not.

Of course, if the Eagles pull off a miracle, then you can damn well bet I'll be posting about that.

Until then, or until the move, take care and I'll see ya in the Keystone State.

Christmas, New Years, And Everything In Between

2006-12-30T21:36:00.000-05:00

We'll start with the baby J's birthday. It was all good. Good time with family, friends, and some much needed gifts like cash, DVDs, ties, and ingrown toenails.

Since then, some noteworthy news things have happened. Wookie's a dad. Gerald Ford passed. James Brown passed. Saddam Hussein swung. More importantly (depending on your outlook on life), the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones films is slated to begin filming in '07.

Other than that, business as usual I guess. Things are nutty around these parts as I begin to wind down and pack up. About another 3 weeks left here in the Big Apple, and then it's back to PA. (More on that to come at a later time.)

I don't think I'll be posting again until the New Year, so have a safe and happy New Year.

... Oh. And go Eagles!

Season's Greetings

2006-12-21T10:54:00.000-05:00

As I am leaving to go home here in a couple hours, this may be my last post for a couple days. So I wanted to make sure to extend to you my wishes for the holidays.

To My Democratic Readers:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only Americain the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes.

By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher toactually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, andis void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion ofthe wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

To My Republican Readers:

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

LOST To Be Found Sooner?

2006-12-21T10:35:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah. Stupid title, I know. Get over it.

It looks like ABC may be shortening the show's hiatus amid fears that it's ratings-challenged replacements will cause the network to lose it's Wendnesday footing.

If done, the show would return either January 10th or 17th. Probably a good move considering that ratings for the third season were already lower than the previous two. Taking the full 13 week break would only further damage what's become a fragile and frustrated fan-base (no alliteration intended).

Personally, this break has left me questioning my loyalty to the show. I'm sure I will tune in for the Season 3.2 premiere, but it's gonna have to be even better than 3.1's to keep me devout.

I've found a new love. And his name is Jack Bauer. Jack was a good boyfriend and decided to give me a 2-night, 4 hour season premier for my birthday.

Gonna be hard to top that ABC.

For All Your Stocking Stuffer Needs

2006-12-20T21:31:00.000-05:00

If any of you need some last-minute gift ideas for your tech-geek friends or dog-loving family members, check this out.

Un-Broker Like Conduct

2006-12-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

Seems like the New York Giants have passed the art of choking down to their fans as well.

The son of the legendary late Giants owner Wellington Mara tackled and choked a fellow broker on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange yesterday after the man mocked the team, sources said.

Veteran floor trader Bob Tomasulo, a 57-year-old grandfather, was assaulted and barraged with obscenities in front of stunned co-workers after kidding with Stephen Mara about the Giants' embarrassing 36-22 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday...

Mara then apparently laughed off the incident. Tomasulo, however, doesn't necessarily consider his bruised larynx to fall under the category of comedic material.

I :Heart: Danny Bonaduce*

2006-12-18T13:12:00.000-05:00

Little bit of some back story first. John Connor is a Retarded One-Fourther who has some website about manifestos and resistance. He routinely posts videos of himself speaking truth to power on YouTube and Google Video "exposing the lies" of the government in regards to 9/11, and the evils of this administration in general.

For a brief introduction to his stupidity, watch how he tries to liken J-walking to a terrorist act. Nevermind that he never gets arrested for this domestic terrorism....

Now watch as he takes his superior intellect out to lunch and interupts a dining Danny Bonaduce.

*File this under Blog Post Titles I Never Thought I'd Type.

**UPDATE** It appears as though some truthers thought it might be a good idea to dole out death threats to Danny's wife and 12 year-old daughter.

**UP-UPDATE** Because I'm sure Hot-Air needs links from me, hop on over there. They have the audio of Danny-Boy calling into John Gibson's show discussing this whole situation.

On Paybacks And Bitches

2006-12-17T21:50:00.000-05:00

Still alive. The Eagles survived 12 penalties (costing them 103 yards) and 2 turnovers to beat the Giants at home 36-22. It was by no means a pretty game. On paper, the stats would have New York marching towards a Wild Card berth. In the NFL, however, it's a different story.

What has made their run so unusual is the Eagles have found a way to win after losing Donovan McNabb for the season with a knee injury. The 36-year-old Garcia is 3-1 since taking over.

"I think we all internally had a lot of confidence in Jeff," Eagles owner Jeff Lurie said. "It's a team we felt, with our offensive line and our defense coming together and being opportunistic, if you have a high character group that likes to play together, you have a chance."

I've had extreme reservations about our playoff hopes since losing McNabb, but Garcia has done everything in his power to dispell them. While it was the ugliest of games, I never once found myself tonight wishing Donovan was healthy. Garcia has taken full command of this team. He has their respect. He has their trust. And, most importantly, he has the ability to get the job done.

I don't want to get ahead of myself as far as "hoping for miracles" go. There are two formidable teams left on the schedule. Next week, at Dallas. The following, Atlanta.

But whereas before I was relying on a combination of luck and the other team making mistakes to pave the way, now my confidence in Philadelphia itself, as a team, is renewed. It will not be easy. It will not be pretty.

But it can be done.

Tony Romo? You're hot. But you're going down.

Puttin' On The Ritz In A Better Place

2006-12-13T13:24:00.000-05:00

Peter Boyle passed away today.

Boyle died Tuesday evening at New York Presbyterian Hospital. He had been suffering from multiple myeloma and heart disease, said his publicist, Jennifer Plante.

While he was most recently known for his role on Everybody Loves Raymond, he'll always be remembered by me as the tap-dancing, intonation-impaired singing Frankenstein.

.... Rest in peace.

Spam And Stupid

2006-12-13T12:42:00.000-05:00

Every now and then I'll check my spam folder on Gmail just to see what kind of trash is coming in and to make sure that it actually is trash.

Well today I check and I see a subject line:

GRANDMCAS Dpeep Fqucked

Now, is that entirely necessary? Kudos to Grandma for getting it on, but do we need the added description of depth?

Having piqued my curiosity however, I open the email:

Hrot GRANDMIAS Rxubs Her Wzet Pcussy

A Rpedhead GRANNWY Tieasing With Vnibo

Fantastic! All the mental images I need to get through my day. I apologize, but I had to pzass my pxain on to you, my fraithful rzeaders.

4-Year Old Goes Motorboatin'

2006-12-11T11:26:00.000-05:00

And rightly gets suspended from school for it.

.... La Vega Independent School District stated his son, who was 4 years old at the time, was involved in "inappropriate physical behavior interpreted as sexual contact and/or sexual harassment" after the boy hugged a teacher's aide and "rubbed his face in the chest of (the) female employee" on Nov. 10.

Pay no mind to the logistics of a teacher's aide bending over to hug a child, resulting in her fun pillows hovering in the immediate vicinity of the child's face.

No... this is cut-and-dry toddler harassment. 4-year old boys are notorious for their sick objectification of women and their breasts and have repeatedly, throughout history, made every attempt to use their own "innocence" as a means to lure unsuspecting females down to their level, where upon the ridiculously young man-boy will thrust his face into her bosom and shamelessly perform raspberries.

Too long has the public turned a blind eye to this type of horrific and demeaning sex-crime. And while I applaud the school district for taking a stand and suspending the child, I fear the punishment is far too light and sends the wrong message. It will only encourage boys, who already look for every opportunity to get out of school, to do so by burying their face in their teacher's tots.

No.... The only way to deal with this type of pre-pubescent deviant is extensive and methodical "community service" as a Congressional page.

Eye for an eye, as they say.

Keepin' Hope Alive

2006-12-10T18:40:00.000-05:00

Eagles over 'Skins, 21-19. This is one of those games I was actually glad it wasn't aired up here. To watch first-hand an 18 point lead dissolve throughout the second half is not something I'm mentally capable of doing, only because this was a game that was needed.

However, the realist in me just looks at this win as delaying the inevitable. Giants on the road next week. Dallas on the road the following. Atlanta at home after that. Three division rivals, three must win games. Possible I guess. But Mr. Realist says, "Not bloody likely."

The mindless fan in me, though, holds out hope. Crazier things have happened. Look at Pittsburgh's run last year. Yeah, McNabb is out, but Garcia, while not as dynamic, is certainly a capable leader, and he can make plays. And the team is good. Which is what makes their 7-6 record so frustrating. They can play. They can win (although sometimes not pretty.) They can make the playoffs. They can beat Big Blue, the 'Boys, and the other Birds.

They can go back to the SuperBowl....

A Not So Feel-Good Story

2006-12-07T13:55:00.000-05:00

Paris Hilton wants kids. Four of 'em. By the time she's 30.

... Hilton thinks she’s highly qualified for motherhood, explaining: “I look after animals, so I’d have a lot to give my kids.”

Apparently Ms. Hilton is under the impression that taking her furs to the dry-cleaners is how one "looks after animals."

And didn't she just lose her dog a few months back?

... God bless the child.

One Of Those Feel-Good Stories

2006-12-07T13:45:00.000-05:00

No, seriously. I know they're in short-supply here, but this one I couldn't pass up.

"I mean, God made me blind and didn't give me the ability to walk. I mean, big deal." Patrick said, smiling. "He gave me the talent to play piano and trumpet and all that good stuff."

This is Patrick's philosophy in life, and he wants people to know it. He isn't fazed by what many of us would consider insurmountable obstacles.

Amazing stuff. Amazing ability. Amazing outlook on life. Be sure to watch the video to hear him play the piano.

Loose Ships

2006-12-07T12:24:00.000-05:00

A rather amusing take on what life would've been like had Google Video, Dylan Avery, and the rest of the Retarded 1/4th existed 60 years ago. The Pearl Harbor Truth Movement:

Some enterprising and innovative people have carried the analysis further. In one sequence shown in the documentary, a man built a wooden model of the ship in his pond, and filmed himself dropping lit firecrackers on it from above, to demonstrate how preposterous was the notion that ships could be sunk by bombs. They seemed to have no effect other than a slight scorching of the deck, and the sturdy little toy remained afloat.

Let's not forget the 5.93 bazillion dollars in gold that had been stored in the hull of the USS Arizona, but went mysteriously missing after the "attack".

Or the fact that the smoke that erupted from the crippled ship resembled a volcanic pyroclastic flow that was pitch black, indicating the "fires" were oxygen-starved.

Or that the Oklahoma capsized at twice the speed of log-rolling.

Or that the only explanation for the utter disintegration of the Pacific fleet was a high-tech beam weapon that was fired from the moon.

Or that each ship in the fleet had a concrete deck which floats in water ('cause concrete is made up of very small rocks.)

Or that Roosevelt is on record stating unequivocally that the day of the attack was "infamous", which, if you drop "in-", you're left with "famous", meaning that the President wanted to be popular and therefore green-lighted the inside job.

Remember Pearl Harbor

2006-12-07T10:06:00.000-05:00

MeeboMe

2006-12-05T16:42:00.000-05:00

New feature over on the left-hand side bar, below the Stats. Not sure how useful or cool it will end up being, so I'm just testing it out right now. The premise being, if you see that I'm online, chat with me!

... Odds are I'm only at work anyway.

Mine, Mine, Mine*

2006-12-05T08:18:00.000-05:00

Well, I guess we can add "dumbass" to Lance's boy band/actor/astronaut resume.

Lance Bass and his boyfriend, Reichen Lehmkuhl, have called it quits, People magazine reported on its Web site Monday.

Now come on. I know the guy's last name comes up a bit short in the vowel department, but seriously.... He's hot. He's ex-military. He's hot. That's just the sort of guy you do everything in your power to keep around. I'd chastise Bass more, but quite honestly, I'm happier knowing that there's one more hot, ex-military hottie on the market.

* This post is specifically for V the K, who, as of late, has only commented on the limp-wristed posts. Hmmmm....

Biff Sings

2006-12-04T18:45:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that Biff. He's pretty good, too. The song's even somewhat amusing, if you can force your psyche to reconcile that the once bad-ass Biff is now strumming a guitar at some Third-World comedy club.

.... Least he didn't drop the N-bomb.

Magic-Cone

2006-12-04T16:16:00.000-05:00

Let's give it up for science and ingenuity, folks. This product alone will do more for women's liberation than suffrage, Roe. vs Wade, and Paris Hilton's sex tape combined.

For those of you with trouble interpreting still photos, click here for the animated version.

Life. Changing.

Dems Renege On 9/11 Commission Recommendations

2006-12-01T11:43:00.000-05:00

Having run this past election pledging to implement all of the recommendations set forth by the panel that examined the attacks of 9/11, Congressional Democrats are reworking the definition of 'all' to mean 'only those that we like'.

... with control of Congress now secured, Democratic leaders have decided for now against implementing the one measure that would affect them most directly: a wholesale reorganization of Congress to improve oversight and funding of the nation's intelligence agencies.

....

Because plans for implementing the commission's recommendations are still fluid, Democratic officials would not speak for the record. But aides on the House and Senate appropriations, armed services and intelligence committees confirmed this week that a reorganization of Congress would not be part of the package of homeland-security changes up for passage in the "first 100 hours" of the Democratic Congress.

Don't worry though. Of all the suggestions made by the Commission, this one was of the least importance.

"Of all our recommendations, strengthening congressional oversight may be among the most difficult and important," the panel wrote. "So long as oversight is governed by current congressional rules and resolutions, we believe the American people will not get the security they want and need."

And by 'least', I mean 'most'.

CoD? Movie Review: Brokeback Mountain

2006-11-29T16:09:00.000-05:00

Ok, yes. It took three-hundred and fifty-seven (357) days for me to see the movie that officially ushered in The Age of Gay Acceptance. The film that had the cajones to show two A-list actors kiss - 0n the big screen!! The cinematic masterpiece that made it okay to be me, Brokeback Mountain!!!

.... Almost made it a whole year. As such, I will be handing in my membership to Homosexual Yacht Club. Returning my Madonna anthology, and slowly disassembling my Cher shrine to donate to the Salvation Army. Bad gay, Chad. BAD!

Regardless, the movie was... good. Nothing spectacular. Not all that hype-worthy. And in dire need of an editor who could spot pointless and/or repetitive sections of the film to leave on the cutting room floor. I'm not going to get into the details of what I felt was good or bad, 'cause well... it's a year after the fact. If you wanna' see it, see it. I think it's worth it (although there's a number of fast-forward moments.) I wouldn't buy it, however. It's not something I'd pop in the DVD player unless I was having trouble falling asleep.

I did not feel it got screwed at the Oscars. Crash, in my opinion, was a much better (and far more entertaining) film. It did win for Best Score though, and I think that's because, for some reason, that guitar theme has some magical ability to homo-ize any scenario it accompanies. Straight Bob and his married, Alpha-male, straight friend Mark could be pounding forties while watching Monday Night Football, and the second Mark's wife pops in the soundtrack, Bob and Mark would be dick deep in pudding.

Probably how we're gonna' take over the world. Just drive around in our trucks like that kid in Mars Attacks!, playing that yodeling shit that made the aliens' heads pop.

An Inconvenient Statistic

2006-11-27T12:58:00.000-05:00

Lamest hurricane season in almost a decade.

Via Drudge:

Barring a last-second surprise from the tropics, the season will end Thursday with nine named storms, and only five of those hurricanes. This year is the first season since 1997 that only one storm nudged its way into the Gulf of Mexico.

Apparently Mother Nature decided to postpone her little Armageddon until maybe next year. Might be the year after. She's going through The Change, so who's to say when it'll happen. Anderson Cooper will have to wait a bit for another career-invigorating cataclysmic event.

But that's not what they said was it? Katrina and her cohorts of 2005 were supposed to be the harbingers of a growing global trend in more frequent and severe storms. The devastation of that year was just a precursor of what the human race was in for. Al Gore even made a movie about it.

.... So where is it? Where'd it go? Why did The Prophecy not come true?

Maybe it was Saharan dust. Maybe high pressure near Bermuda. Maybe El Nino. Point is, we don't know for sure. Was this quiet season just a fluke? Possibly. Will we see a repeat of 2005 in the next decade? Probably. Point is, we don't know for sure.

We do know one thing, however. And that is that we don't know shit. File that under "Things We Know We Don't Know." We can't predict what next year's hurricane season will be like...

What makes us think we can say with any certainty what the global climate will be like in 50 years?

Everybody Loves A Little KFC

2006-11-26T23:40:00.000-05:00

Can Of Worms Now Officially Opened

2006-11-24T13:54:00.000-05:00

If ever was there a premise for a reality TV show, this is it.

A lesbian couple married in Massachusetts has filed for divorce in Rhode Island, setting up a legal conundrum for judges in a state where the laws are silent on the legality of same-sex marriage.

Margaret Chambers and Cassandra Ormiston of Providence were married after the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court legalized gay marriage starting in 2004.

Two lesbians locked in a bitter divorce battle? Bravo executives just collectively climaxed.

You can file this under "short-sightedness". I mean, let's face it. The gay community isn't exactly known as a bastion of monogamy and life-long commitments. In their rush to make marriage legal, gay-rights advocates never seemed to consider the idea of divorce. Nor did the out-of-state couples who car-pooled to Massachusetts to tie the knot.

This'll be interesting....

Do You Take It...?

2006-11-22T22:03:00.000-05:00

This is one of those "Quick, hurry up and post this before Thanksgiving hits because it'd be inappropriate otherwise" things. I can't say there's full-frontal nudity, but it certainly isn't just partial either. It's a catchy tune though.

... Did I forget to mention the strap-on?

Stuff

2006-11-22T12:35:00.000-05:00

So it's been slow bloggin's here the past couple days, and for that I apologize. What with the holidays now upon us, things get kinda nutty and my usual MO of posting on stories 95% of the blogosphere covered two weeks ago ends up on the back burner.

But I'd figure I could at least recap my reunion over the weekend:

- Total Offspring of Class of '96: 43.7 (one's due in 2 months)
- Total Marriages of Class of '96: 2 (yeah, you do the math)
- Total Divorces of Class of '96: 17 (16 of which belong to one girl)
- Total Pounds Gained: 2,751 (they had a scale next to the keg, so that number could be skewed high)
- Total Number of Ex-Girlfriends Who Showed Up With Their Wives: 1 (yes, it's quite likely we turned each other gay.)

Class of '96

2006-11-17T20:44:00.000-05:00

Taking off to PA for the weekend. The Red Land High School class of 1996 is reuniting. I shall return with a full count of classmates' kids, marriages, and subsequent divorces (most likely having happened in that order).

.... That's just how we roll in South Central Pennsylvania.

::: cue Dueling Banjos :::

See y'all Sunday.

(If someone could do the bathroom while I'm gone, that'd be swell. It's gettin' kinda' nasty. Thanks!)

In The Guy's Defense, The Deer Didn't Say, "No"

2006-11-17T12:37:00.000-05:00

.... But in the deer's defense, it's hard to protest unwanted sex when you're dead.*

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

Hathaway's lawyer argues that there is no crime, as his client had sex with a carcass... not an animal, which he argues is defined as a living thing.

This is one of those things for me that's just so out-there, I find it difficult to take a position. The guy obviously wasn't harming the deer, but having intercourse with a dead animal is... well it's just not right. So, if bestiality laws are in place to protect the animal (which I'm pretty sure is the case), this guy technically did nothing wrong.

But he effed a carcass. Which, quite frankly, just doesn't sit well with me. However... how do you punish someone who's fucked a dead deer? Is there something out there that's even more degrading and pathetic?

Actually, yes there is. You could fuck the 4 day old cadaver of your girlfriend's dead dog in full view of a day-care center.

* Requires free poopy registration, but kinda' worth it for the article.

"V" Is For Vaginal Douche

2006-11-14T15:50:00.000-05:00

Some people....

When an agent asked if “V” would remove his mask for identification purposes, “V” explained that would defeat the very purpose of the mask, which was to give expression to the fact that the nation was becoming a police state, that too many people were becoming afraid to be identified as dissenters or protestors, and that this was not in the long term interest of a free people.

Now, I have no problem if you wanna' parade around DC in your Guy Fawkes get-up while handing out your governmental redresses, but don't be a fuckin' retard by claiming that we're living in a police state while you freely and publicly exercise your 1st Amendment rights.

This was apparently just a dry run. Hundreds of V's were set to descend upon Washington today. I'll keep ya' posted.

Double-Oh Smokin'

2006-11-14T14:45:00.000-05:00

It's been probably close to a decade since I've actually wanted to catch a Bond flick in theaters instead of waiting for DVD, but the previews for Casino Royale have got me hooked.

I mean, c'mon....

.... That's big-screen material right there.

Rotten Tomatoes seems to agree, with an average 93% fresh rating. The critics seem to be saying Casino will do for the Bond franchise what Batman Begins did for the Caped Crusader. That's sayin' a lot.

And since it's been awhile since I've openly blogged my dorkiness, below is how drum corps does Bond. The Cavies won the 2004 DCI championship with this show.

Harry Potter: Sexual Predator

2006-11-14T14:33:00.000-05:00

... With an irate Willow thrown in to boot.

From the upcoming second season of Extras. (Quite possibly the funniest show on TV.)

This Just Hit Me

2006-11-14T11:48:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it takes awhile for thoughts to rise up through my subconscious (no doubt a result of performing mind-numbing, menial tasks for the insurance industry), but something Kevin has over on his sidebar jogged my memory.

Last week, I was watching CNN's coverage of the elections and one of the first things I remember them reporting was that there were a number of precincts throughout the country that were having problems with the electronic voting machines.

Now, as the night went on, this story fell by the wayside as the votes came in and winners were declared, something I found odd, considering the turmoil surrounding some of our recent elections. The 2000 election kicked it off, and by '04, reporting on voter fraud or was all the rage, as well it should've been - it's kinda' important.

But despite the Democratic victory, the races last week were just as tight as the previous election. Obviously, CNN was just setting the stage for what could've turned into an ugly voting mess, but as I said before, after the initial report on the electronic voting machines, the story never resurfaced. Indeed, over the past 6 days, I've yet to see any major stories regarding the voting process even though they were a dime a dozen in the weeks and months leading up to Decision '06.

So, were those precincts able to work out the kinks? Is the issue of electronic voting machines no longer a concern and we're good to go for '08?

.... Or is the media just content with the Democrat victory?

Jesus, Mary, And Angelina

2006-11-13T13:43:00.000-05:00

Maybe this is what Elton was talking about.

Delegates gathering this week at the Baptist State Convention are expected to approve a policy that would prohibit membership for churches or affiliate groups that endorse homosexuality.

The policy, proposed by the convention's board of directors earlier this year, would forbid churches from ordaining gay clergy, making public statements supporting homosexuality or accepting openly gay churchgoers as members.

Apparently, Baptist churches in North Carolina will be posting naked pictures of Brad Pitt next to Sunday's bulletin. Religiously ordained Mo-Seekers will then pat the crotches of all who enter to determine the level of sexual arousal. Anyone showing the slightest bit of wood will be struck down from On High by the Almighty.

.... In other news, Angelina got on a train.

I Was Dead At The Time

2006-11-13T11:22:00.000-05:00

Aussies have found an ingenious way to get out of paying speeding and parking tickets. Blame a dead guy.

Under New South Wales state law, if car owners sign a sworn statement that they were not driving the vehicle when an offense was committed, they can avoid paying speed camera fines that arrive by mail and parking tickets left under windshield wipers.

Which is all well and good... right up until you get caught.

... car owners charged with swearing false statements face up to five years' imprisonment if convicted.

Fortunately there's a way out of this one, too. When the authorities come knocking on your door to ask if you had knowingly signed a sworn statement that your dead friend Bernie was driving your Acura that Wednesday afternoon, just simply tell them that you were on the moon. ... With Steve.

Open Thread

2006-11-09T19:52:00.000-05:00

Yeah. Technically "open threads" are just a place where readers show up to toss in their 2 cents about whatever's on their mind at the moment. From the blogger's stand-point, it's a way of saying, "I don't have shit to talk about, so you folk talk amongst yourselves."

Now, I know. In order for an open thread to fulfill its duty, it helps to actually have more than one reader, and it helps even more if that one reader isn't the blogger himself.

.... Ooops.

But screw it. I've always wanted to have an open thread, so damnit, it's my blog.... I'm gonna' have an open thread. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk amongst myself.

Wow....

2006-11-08T13:12:00.000-05:00

Call me naive, but I really didn't see this one coming.

Hey!! Your Dad Just Got Re-Elected To The U.S. Senate!! What Are You Gonna Do Now?

2006-11-08T12:54:00.000-05:00

Hmmm.... DisneyWorld is close, but it's so cliche.

.... Oh, I know!

How about you get wasted, fight with a guy, drag an unconscious chick back to your hotel, and then shove a cop when he tries to stop you? That way you can get doused with pepper spray, charged with resisting arrest and battery of a police officer as well as good old fashioned disorderly intoxication!!

Good times. Just like college.

Although, I gotta wonder what would've happened had daddy lost the race....

H/T: Kevin